Jan 24 2012
∞
“i’ve been on a tumblr holiday not of my own choosing.” —little white flowers with red berries in the background
+
∞
less than a minute on saturday, january 21, 2012
if you had less than a minute, what would you choose to remember?
would you choose the simple beauty of a spider web?
would it be hung with diamond dew?
or would you put your mind to an orange, slick with the remnants of a rain shower?
or perhaps, you’d see an orchid clad in rain drops and decide that nothing could be more perfect for that last memory. it’s your choice.
+
∞
less than a minute, part 2
(Source: robtpatrick.wordpress.com)
Jan 19 2012
∞
+
∞
this week (a review)
sunrise or sunset? either or, it perfectly represents the week behind me where everything is a bit of a blur. sure, there are stand out moments, but those are mostly the activities that are habitual and not happenstance. there’s work, of course, and not that i often talk about it, but it has been particularly hectic, what with the opening of ___ _____ _____ __________ and the upcoming gala for the _____ _____ ______ ___ _________ the following weekend; if time were a funnel (which it is, is it not?) then you’ve probably noticed how the last bits of it to go through are all of the details, minutiae, last-minute changes (big and small) and you standing there wondering how all of it will get done on time. if you’re anything like me, you start to prioritize, shedding unnecessary in favor of absolutely-must-happen, editing and pruning, letting go of the so-so ideas in favor of those which are outstanding, divine, marvelous and other superlatives. your mental check-list soon becomes your written check-list, tick/tick/ticking off each and every little thing. what have i forgotten? on your way to and suddenly you remember you must; you backtrack and start over, finish what had come into your mind on the way to other things and yes, yes, yes, it was this that i was finishing and not that and you’re back in the groove (you may stop here for a piece of chocolate or a long drink of water–please refresh yourself, i do.) if anyone asks you, you tell them that popping sound they hear is your head exploding–how could there be room left for one more thing and of course, one more thing comes along and you find the room for it next to the ______ and in between _____ and _____ (damn it). somehow, somewhere you find the strength to soldier on, for that’s it, isn’t it? you’re a soldier (BTW, did you know there’s controversy over one space or two after a period? seems two spaces were utilized with the use of typewriters and their spacing issues–every letter received the same amount of space–and with digital keyboards that does not hold true, each letter is afforded it’s appropriate spacing and consequently you only need one space after a period and not two any longer. i’m trying it, what do you think?) but yes, where were we? or actually, where was i? the royal/editorial we such a contrivance, best left for the aesthetes, no? but back to it, the only end in sight is if i were to
and walk away. (one space, not two.)
+
∞
that second solo photograph appeared on its own…spooky. i also sent a photo from my phone last night around 7 PM to tumblr. it has yet to show up; wonder where it went. such are the mysteries of the digital age.
Jan 14 2012
∞
self-portrait with dachshund
everything about me now is a little softer, a little rounder, a little more out-of-focus. the past (the distant past, not the recent past) seems clearer and closer, perhaps even more real as i scratch under the surface of memory, fact and the fiction that always accompanies it (the fiction often more true than the fact.)
the sharp edges of youth have eroded, those uncertainties, those fears (some do remain, as they probably always will), washed away with the passage of time; decisions made early in your life that determine the course of your life affected by the prevailing winds, terrain, minerals, resources so that what you thought would be ‘carved in stone’ has been rubbed smooth by that which you have no control over.
they say you determine your future and perhaps, in many ways, they may be right; there are things you can do that will chart your future course, but for many of us, happenstance has been the better plan, or at least the happier plan. it’s not for everyone, the future looms large now, uncertainty a less pleasing sensation than it was even a few short years/months/days/minutes/seconds ago.
bleached out as you are by the sun (or any other light of scrutiny, examination, divining), your edges more an aura than something you could grab a hold of, hang on tight to, steady yourself, right your course, or even retreat and re-focus your energies (the es of life), you may find yourself, as you have in the past, letting go, sighing, ignoring, blinded by the light.
and try as you might to make those determinations, the ones that will prepare a future for you that will rely less on chance and more on, on, on, whatever the opposite of that would be–could it be planning?–matters not, the course is set, you’re already a deep canyon and the future is your delta, its shifting sands your future, but not your end.
